They are Me
by Chibs
Summary: Rated R for hints of sexual content and some languge is a tale woven from sleepless nights. Marron is making and important choice


"I want to fuck you." They were the first words that he said when I opened the door. Trunks was standing out in the rain and he was doing it purposely. Because he knew the way he looked. He knew that the shirt stuck to all the right places, he knew that the shaggy look the five o'clock shadow on his face gave him. He knew the way the way the rain ran down his face would get me. I stood there at the door still dressed in my school uniform and my hair down draping slightly over my shoulder. He looked at me with his clear blue eyes and I stared back at him. I stepped aside and he walked inside. I shut the door behind him then walked into the kitchen and came back out with a towel. I held it out to him.  
  
To understand this part I guess I should explain a few things to you. At the moment I am eighteen, Trunks is twenty-three and Goten is twenty-two. Between the two of them they have shaped my love life from the beginning. At the tender age of four Goten was the first to hold my hand. It was no big deal to him, he was eight and hated almost ever girl that crossed his path. We had been crossing the street and he simply slipped his hand into mine. That day I had been in heaven.  
  
Four more years passed and I was kissed. Kissed by Goten. I was eight and he was twelve. That day I had received and F in my history class. My first and too this day only F. Goten had found me sitting alone on the swing set in the schools play ground. My cheeks and lashes were wet from tears. He asked me what could have happened to make me cry. And through the tears and crying I revealed my horrid day. He took me from me seat in the swing and held me closely. Then I had looked up and his lips had brushed against mine. It was the softest most real kiss that I have ever experienced. His hands didn't leave their spot on my waist and his eyes were closed. I was never sure if it was his first kiss too. I never asked. We didn't talk about it.  
  
The day I got into my double digits my mother allowed me to have a sleep over. There were only two really close friends that I wanted over. My mother told me very very carefully that boy and girls didn't have sleepovers together. I told her very very carefully that I was ten; I wasn't going to bang them. She smiled at me and gave in. Trunks and Goten showed up together. Trunks held a rather large box wrapped in colorful paper and Goten held a small simple box wrapped in newspaper. I had told him over the phone early that day that he didn't need to buy me anything; it touched me that he had spent his own money on me. The party wasn't a big deal; in fact it wasn't even a party. We simply hung out, ordered movies off pay per view, told jokes and ate. My father had warned me that there was going to be a party later. AT five o'clock her hollered for me to change and wash up so we could get there on time. And I did, changing into a nice blue and white dress, than carefully applying makeup to my face. Coming down the stairs I heard a whistle and saw Trunks grinning at me. He was fifteen and looking at me like I was his age. I blushed as he took my arm and opened to car door for me. Goten offered me the window seat, but I told him that I would rather sit between my two best friends.  
  
The party was great. Loads of presents came my way. Little Bura-chan smiled and gurgled to me as her chubby hand offered me a present she had been chewing on. I smiled and took it from her. It was a small paper cut out of me. The drawing was crude as only infants can make them, but I gave a smile of delight and kissed her pudgy cheek. Pan toddled toward me and hugged onto my leg as she handed me my present. I opened it carefully than smiled. A pink bandana. I hugged her. There were two presents left, one wrapped in colorful paper and the other in newspaper.  
  
I opened Goten's present with a carefulness that I can only understand. He didn't have much money and I had been wondering what he could have gotten me. My mouth fell open and I gazed at his present in wonder. I was a white-gold chain with my birthstone hanging off the end. He smiles to me and I thank him. Trunks heaves his present in front of me and I pull the bow off of the large box and pull the top off. Inside seven dragon balls glisten in the afternoon sun.  
  
"Happy birthday." He tells me. I forget what I wish for. But that night when we were all home and my parents were asleep (I had changed out of my dress and cleaned my face of makeup). The three of us began to watch movies. Goten complains around mid night that he has to pee. Trunks shoves him toward the bathroom.  
  
Okay your wondering why I'm going through this right? Well here it comes.  
  
Trunks lightly taped my shoulder and when I turned he was smiling. The he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. His lips slipped over mine. His kiss wasn't soft like Goten's, but interesting nonetheless. His tongue slipped between my slightly parted lips and my eyes snapped open. My first French kiss. The toilet flushed. He let go and I stood shocked. Goten saw none of this.  
  
Goten knows nothing about what Trunks has done to me, just as Trunks knows nothing of Goten and my dealings.  
  
I was only fourteen when Trunks popped my cherry. I wasn't even dating him. I was dating Goten. Trunks and I were in his room; he was helping me study for and up coming exam. He leaned over and kissed me. I went with it. I don't know why. But I did. By the end of that study session I had learned allot more than math. Trunks wasn't gentle in fact he left bruises on the insides of my thighs and kept me bleeding for three days. I told my mother, she took me to the gynecologist, the grounded me for a month and a half. After I was ungrounded I went back and we had sex again.  
  
Goten never found out.   
  
Shortly after these event took place I broke up with Goten. He didn't understand why and that was just peachy keen with me. He called after that and I took the calls. He was upset but wasn't going to force me to go back to him or make me tell him why I had so brutally ended something so good. He didn't put the guilt trip on me.  
  
He never does, and this means more to me than he could ever know. Trunks didn't either. Almost every time I went to his house we had sex. Its not like that's all we did though. He and I were the same friends, we went out dancing; we ate together and every now and then got high together. It was sort of nice.  
  
Than it was Goten. I began to see in him at sixteen what I had missed at fourteen. Thee way he was so careful around me. The way he smelled my hair and thought I didn't notice. The way his cheeks light up with red color when I hugged or kissed him. The way I wanted to know how he was in bed. And I soon found out.  
  
It didn't happen the way it did with trunks, it never did. Goten 'courted' me. Yes, that's the right word for it. We went places, did things together like a couple. After two weeks he held my hand, another two we had our first kiss (again). I used all of my charm and wit and still he refused. Than one day he sat me down and asked if it would be okay.  
  
The question was oddly sweet and caring. I told him that it would be quite all right with me. The night I was seventeen he planned a romantic night at his apartment. Candles and incense burned and light the way as I opened the door. Halfway in I smelled roses and began to step on there red petals. They led to the bathroom. I stepped in and was amazed to see candles in here too. Goten stepped behind me and took my coat. I turned to see him smiling.  
  
"If you want something else..." He began. I hushed him with a kiss. The tub, an antique one that sat on claws, was filled with bubbles and rose petals were scattered atop it. He was nervous. I lightly slipped off the straps off my dress and let it puddle down around me. He watched as I sat in the tub and gave him a 'join me' look.  
  
I must confess that I have never made love. I have had sex in as many ways as you possibly can, but I have never made love. Never until that night. He had been so cautious and gentle. I fell in love with him that night. I also fell asleep in his arms in the water and woke up in his bed before him.   
  
Before I scampered out that morning I left him a note thanking him. I headed over to Trunks' place. We didn't have sex that day, but I smoked more weed than I ever have. I dated no one in the past year and have only had sex with my old stand by Trunks. Until four months ago it had been plutonic. Then he had pulled to him one night and told me that he loved me.  
  
"I want to marry you!" He cried over the roar of the Saturday night rave.  
  
"What!" I had cried back thinking I hadn't heard him right. The music blasted down to a low pitch and he cried.  
  
"I want to marry you!" Again. The people crowded around us turned to stare. I pulled him away and into the girl's bathroom.  
  
"Your not serious." I told him. But he wasn't high or drunk. He was serious.  
  
"I am serious." He said.  
  
"No," I slapped his arm. "You are not! Don't screw this up! We have a perfectly fine relationship the way it is! I don't love you and you don't love me! We just have fun!"  
  
"You're lying to yourself." He told me and walked away angrily.  
  
And In a way he was perfectly right. I was lying to myself. I had grown to love him. Even in 'that' way. Sometimes I loved him like that. You couldn't make a marriage over sometimes. The sometimes that I wasn't loving him I was loving Goten. That was my problem.  
  
I was in love with the two men that I had grown up. The two that had shaped my life. The two that were an amazingly big part of my life. I was in love with them and they were in love with me.  
  
Friends and neighbors that catches us up to now.  
  
  
Still holding out the towel I ask: "What are you doing here?" He takes the towel and drops it on the floor and pulls me into his arms and kisses me. I push him away.  
  
"Stop!" I wipe off my mouth. "What the hell are you doing!" I snap. He glares at me  
  
"You can't keep doing this to me!" He yells.  
  
"Doing what!"  
  
"You called me!" He says softly.  
  
"That doesn't mean that I wan-" The doorbell rings and I push past him. Goten is standing in the rain now. He says nothing and I step aside again and let him in.  
  
Goten looks like shit compared to trunks. They may have both been in the rain, but Trunks had walked over here in a suite. Goten had come in his jumpsuit. His face had smidges of oil and he smelled like exhaust fumes and sweat.  
  
"I just came from work." He said softly. I nod. The two of them stand uncomfortable next to each other. I walk over to the steps leading up stairs and it on the third step to last one.  
  
" I called you both because I need to talk and you need to listen." Trunks opens his mouth to speak and I raise a hand to silence him.  
  
"I am in love, not with one, but two men. They have something inside of me fluttering when they touch or peak to me. This is not easy for me to admit. I love you both the same, but in different ways." I stop to think. "This is not something that has happened in recent days, but has been in the making for several years. Maybe since the day I was four." Goten raises his head.  
  
"There is one special person in some peoples lives. But I have been blessed with two. Blessed or cursed? I don't know." She looked up at the two of them.  
  
"We just want you to be happy." Goten replies no doubt echoing Trunks' thoughts. Trunks nods.  
  
"How do I do that?" I ask. Trunks thinks for a long while. The he softly tells me something I never though that I would hear.  
  
"You have to choose." I look up at him. Both he and Goten stare down at there feet.  
  
"Choose?" I ask. They nod. "Between the two of you?" Once more they nod. "I can't."  
  
"You have too." Trunks tells me. Then I close my eyes and I think. I picture every moment I have had with the two of them. The kisses. The tears, the talks, the sex, the love. Everything. When I open my eye's I stare at him. I stare at the one who has given me so much pleasure and pain. The one who has shared my love.   
  
He is the one I want.  
  
Authors Note:  
Bwahahahaha! Muahahaha!...Ha...ha...your angry? Well I couldn't decide and this way I leave it up to you gentle reader. I leave you to pick the couple that would more delight you. So do not think this as a clever plot, its not. I'm not too clever. This had just been swimming around in my head for months and Chibi was bored on her day off, so here it is.  
  
Also to my A/U readers of when you get there...Chibi is not so sure of finishing this. She read that you should start off with short stories and she plans to do this over, and right this time...  



End file.
